Faraway Friends: how distant friends can stay close
Jaycee Stone, Contributing Writer
We were five years old, running around and playing in the cold water hose. We both laugh uncontrollably, until our stomachs are aching with pain. After 10 years, we are jumping from plane to plane trying to get the other one just for one week of the familiar aching pain we so vividly remember.
Photo courtesy of Jaycee Stone.
Thinking of long-distance relationships, platonic and romantic, they are seen as negative because of the distance between the two people. Long-distance friendships take work and dedication. Especially with college, you are doing your own thing and sometimes are too busy to talk to the other person for days or even weeks.
There are many difficulties you face when in a long-distance friendship, such as different time zones, lack of communication and even lack of face-to-face time. With this, it can put strain and pressure to bring the friendship to life. It is also easy to lose empathy during the friendship. There are many ways to maintain the long-distance to truly keep the friendship alive.
According to The Guardian, setting a regular date is one of the first steps to take. Sitting down with the specific person and deciding together on when a good day of the week could be or even a day of the month could improve things greatly. Merena Russeau and Maggie Hinsdale are great examples of this tactic. “We text and ask each other when we are free, so we can coordinate our time for us to talk,” Russeau said.
A 2018 study found it is also known that friends have the same neural response to videos. Russeau and Hinsdale have been best friends for 11 years but have been long-distance for four. They carry many forms of communication such as texting, facetime or calling, but when one is busy, they make their way to snapchat.
Photo courtesy of Jaycee Stone.
They make minute-long videos of something important that happened in their lives that they want to tell the other person. Sending videos back and forth to each other can be equivalent to asking how the other has been.
According to Dr. Irene S Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, “It’s also helpful for both friends to offer each other assurance that the friendship is a keeper.” Acknowledging each other’s struggles that they face can lead to better communication and can help the understanding between the two friends.
Something that could also tie into this would be remembering important dates such as each other’s birthday or events that the other person thinks are special to them. In an Ofcom survey from 2015, sending a card or even a small gift could go a long way in a distanced friendship. This shows how much you truly care for that person and it helps them see the how important they are in your life.
Even though traveling can be expensive, it is still worth saving up the money to see each other when each friend truly needs it. Jeffrey A Hall, associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, advises to seek out opportunities for “friendship renewal” through spending face-to-face time when possible.” It is important to make the effort to see the other person in your friendship because it leads to a stronger bond between both of you.
Long-distance friendships have their perks, but also can be tough to truly be engaged with the other person. Even though people say that distance does not matter if you are close enough, in reality though it does. The part that does matter is the dedication, time and support you are willing to put into the friendship and that helps the bond flourish more during these conditions.
